Friday Night Pep-Talk: Remember the Reality

Early recovery often means giving up going out to bars and clubs, or any drinking events. This my make you feel jealous and alone as it seems that everyone in the world is partying especially on Friday nights!

sobercourage_228Back in the day, I loved happy hour any day of the week. Of course, Fridays were the best because I could really get drink and no one would care, because that was just expected on a Friday! So I was always ready for any celebration – first one at the bar and ready to order shots! I never needed an invitation because every day was a party for me… well until it stopped being fun…

I currently work downtown in Washington, DC, where every street is filled with bars, restaurants, and clubs. On a Friday night, especially, they fill up quickly with people celebrating the end of the workweek. As I walk by them on the way to the train station, I can smell the wine and beer in the air. I can hear the chatter and laughter of super happy people, and for a moment there, I am swept away into my own fantasy and all I can remember is the “exciting fun” that I am now missing!
You too may find yourself reminiscing about the good old days, when drinking was fun! Nevertheless, remember that was probably some time ago and drinking is no longer fun for you either. So when the drinking pangs hit, remember your reality!

I know my reality all too well, because in the end my drinking was completely out of control and there was nothing fun about it:

  • I did not go to bars or clubs; I drank alone, in my house, with the curtains closed shut.
  • I did not have just one glass of wine; I had bottles, boxes and even more than I had ever imagined was even possible to hold in my body.
  • I did not lose jobs because my bosses were assholes; I lost jobs because I was unreliable, called out sick, or quit showing up.
  • I was not alone because I liked it; I was alone because I had alienated everyone and alcohol was my only friend!
  • I was not a happy-go-lucky party girl; I was a fall-of-the-bar-stool, flat-on-the-floor, passing out, blacking out, and creating chaos wherever I went… drunk.
  • I did not fall asleep because I was tired; I blacked out every night because I drank way too much again.
  • I did not take the bus to work to save money; I took it because I gave away my driver’s license after I chose to drive in a black out.

Yep, that is how it really was and I sure do not want it anymore!

Making lists like this quickly puts things in the right perspective and gets me out of the fantasy-land! It is a revelation and a start reminder of how it really was, and a great tool to staying sober!

For Other Friday Night Pep-Talk posts click HERE.


If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with alcohol addiction, please click the Find Support link at the top of this page for an extensive list of support groups. Also please check out the links to many useful resources in the sidebar, and always feel free to contact me anytime at sobercourage@gmail.com.

You may also find some great inspiration and support from all the awesome sober bloggers listed in the side bar under POSTS I LIKE and RECOVERY BLOGGERS, as well as Sober Courage page on Facebook and Sober Courage on Twitter.

Advertisements

13 Comments Add yours

  1. nowine4me says:

    I didn’t choose to spend every Friday evening at a restaurant for the great food; I went there for the big margaritas and kids playground.

    Like

    1. Oh, I did that too, and going to a sports bar to “watch” football! LOL!

      Like

  2. Great list – were you reading my notes or something?? I love the honesty…and the clarity that comes from seeing things as they really are. Awesome. I was the same – had been years since I sat on a bar stool, I never ever had just one glass, I drank alone, and I certainly left jobs because I was very unreliable. Easy to see it from the other side, isn’t it? Where it’s everyone else’s fault but ours. Ugh. But this is great – the fantasy gets dismantled quickly and we’re back on our feet – living in the now, the present and what we are doing to be in the solution and not the problem.

    Great post!

    Paul

    Like

    1. Oh goodness, yes! I totally thought that the world was against me! it just never occurred to me that it was my drinking! lol! And that damn fantasy… All in my head! lol.

      So glad to see you back Paul! I hope you enjoyed your little break and thanks for stoping by!

      Like

  3. I wasn’t the hostess with the mostest always keeping your drinks refreshed and full… Not out of kindness anyway. I was always filling drinks so I could keep my glass constantly full and so I could keep dibs on the alcohol supply. Lol. I laugh at how nice everyone thought I was, when really it was quite self-serving.

    Oh, and I wasn’t going to the bathroom every twenty minutes due to a weak bladder–I was going to sneak gulps of vodka from the bottle in my purse.

    And, oh, I didn’t drink “coffee” all day either.

    We were such masters of deception. It was really quite tiresome. So glad to be living honestly now. It’s much less stressful.

    Great edition, Maggie! Happy sober Friday night, Christy

    Like

    1. Yes, that one too, if I kept refilling everyone’s drinks, no one would know how much I was drinking, right? Lol! But in the end no one was coming over, they all were just in the way… sad.

      Oh and the whole deception thing was to complicated. Sober I don’t have to worry about any of that ! Wheeew. Definitely less stressful! Thanks Christy! Hope you had a great Friday night too! Hugs!

      Like

  4. Riversurfer says:

    Great post, honestly written and a really good reminder! Long time ago I promised myself that if I’d ever miss a glass of cold beer or anything alcoholic, I will think it all the way through. Because it ALWAYS starts with one drink, but it ends in the early morning with me having passed out, drunk as hell.

    And I always picture the WHOLE scenario, if I’d ever fancy a drink. I can tell you that I don’t fancy many drinks at all now a days :))

    Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you enjoy a marvelous Saturday! *hugs*

    Like

    1. You know, it took me soooo long to learn how to think through the drink, I just had this knee jerk reaction, like a spoiled kid – I want it and I want it now! But this has turned out to be the best and most often used tool for me, because at this stage in my sobriety, I sort of tend to forget how it rally was, and I have to keep it in the forefront. Because yes, it starts with just one and well… We all know the ending.! Thanks so much for stopping by! Hugs!

      Like

  5. I use this exact thought process when I start romanticizing a glass of wine. Romantic thought: the glass looks so pretty, the liquid so elegant, the people seem like they are having so much fun. Reality: if the glass is in my hand, it does not matter how pretty or elegant it looks, the only thought that will be on my mind is how fast I can drink it without seeming obvious, how many more I can imbibe before I pass out, and all the people around me will cease to matter.

    It’s okay to have the romantic thought, as long as I finish it out with the reality. At least that’s how it’s been working for me!

    Great post Maggie. Your Friday night pep talks are amazing!

    Like

    1. Thank you for the kid words! I really appreciate it!
      You know it used to freak me out when I had the fancy, I mean it got me really scared. Now I know it’s just a part of my disease. And I have to acknowledge it and run it through. I don’t know why I always glamorize! It is kinda funny. LOL!

      Like

    2. Oh sorry, I meant kind words, not kid words, lol!

      Like

  6. sober365days says:

    Why do so many women drink alone? I know I did. Never was a drunk in public kind of gal (well, maybe sometimes!). But your words ring true to me. Thanks for reminding me about the wine fantasy. The wine reality sure made me unhappy! Great blog post. Look forward to reading more!

    Like

    1. Oh man, I drank alone because I was to afraid to make an ass of my self and it was cheaper and no one was watching how much I drank! And I didn’t have to drive home! Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

Share your Sober Courage here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s