Sober Moms: Going to Any Lengths to Stay Sober

One of the greatest things about being a part of the 12 step program, you don’t just learn how to live sober but also how to be a sober mom. And you meet some wonderful women who have had the same struggles with sobriety and motherhood and are always willing to share their wisdom.

DeterminationsThere is an amazing bond between us, as we know that sobriety is the most important thing in our lives, it has to be! Yet we struggle on daily basis to put it up front. The challenge here is to see that the amount of time and dedication put into taking care of our sobriety, has to be even above the amount of time that we put into taking care of our families. For many of us, to drink again means to lose everything! This is often hard for family members to understand; they just can’t fathom that we are now going to many meetings or other support groups, instead of spending that time with them. Sometimes this is hard for kids to understand; they may feel left out and unimportant.

In my early sobriety, I went to a meeting every single day no matter what. Being a single mom after me and my ex split, I often took my daughter with me. I bought a portable DVD player and headphones and we sat in the back of the room as not to disturb anyone. I went to mostly women’s meetings, because I think they made my daughter and I feel more comfortable. And, well the women just loved her! But the bottom line was that I just went no matter what! I just did what I had to do to stay sober!

Of course I got the idea of bringing my daughter to the meetings from another sober mom, who would bring her son to the meetings. She too did not have the money for a babysitter but found it crucial to go to meetings no matter what!

When my daughter was a bit older she started asking why I was going to these meetings, at first I was just sort of making up things, I said they are my friends, and I feel better when I see them. But that was not that far from the truth! The longer you attend the more friends you meet! They have become my family and my village. I don’t have to take my daughter to meetings anymore, but once in while she asks if she can still come! And many people still ask me how she is doing and reminisce about seeing her in the rooms when she was little.

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So this weekend was great, I saw few women that I haven’t seen in a while. We talked bout sobriety and family and work and all that stuff that’s part of a “normal” life. At one point I was making some small talk with a couple who has been married for 20 years! I asked what their secret was, and the woman replied, meetings! She said they bring their 4-year-old with them sometimes and take turns playing with her at the playground outside of the church where the meeting is held. Then she said, we had put a lot of effort in drinking, now we have to put a lot of effort in staying sober! That’s going to any lengths!

What do you do to ensure your sobriety?

For other Sober Moms posts click HERE.


If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with alcohol addiction, please click the Find Support link for an extensive list of support groups. Also please check out the links to many useful resources in the sidebar, and always feel free to contact me anytime at sobercourage@gmail.com.

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Great stuff here – loved that you took your daughter. Some folks I see do the same – bring the DVD thing or the ipad or whatnot with headphones and it’s all fine. I too went to many meetings – 210 in 90 days (go big or go home!). I needed it at the time – I was in bad. But being there, butt to chair, got me into a new headspace and discipline. These days I got to maybe 1-2 week, sometimes don’t go for two weeks. For me it was step work that finally got the obsession away, and for me, meetings are where I connect with the newcomers and old friends 🙂

    For my sobriety, I do the same things – pray, meditate, talk to others about recovery (online counts), read my daily readings, spiritual reading, step work, sometimes talking / meeting sponsees, talking to my sponsor, etc. they don’t take up a whole lot of my day, but they are important. Keeping in connection with my HP is the most important thing 🙂

    Great post!

    Blessings,
    Paul

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Paul! Thanks for stopping by! You got me giggling a bit because when I was taking my daughter to meetings the iPad was not out yet! And it just seemed like so long ago, it’s not really, but it reminds me how life has changed and how grateful I am to be sober. And yes, I still do those same things. Got to stay connected for sure!

      Like

  2. Hi Maggie,

    I feel like I have been on vacation, that’s how long it’s been since I’ve been on WordPress! I will eventually write about it, but this past weekend was my son’s birthday, and I baked him a very fancy cake and was thinking of you the whole time!

    Alright, back to the subject at hand, in my first year of sobriety, I did four things every day: I got down on my knees and prayed, first thing, every morning, I went to a meeting, EVERY DAY, I spoke with another alcoholic, EVERY DAY (this one for me prevented me from sitting in the back of the AA meeting and being a slug, I actually needed to interact), and finally, and because of the first three, I abstained from ingesting any mind-altering substances. I believe having this plan in place, and committing to it each and every day, gave me a strong foundation for my sobriety!

    In my second (and current) year of sobriety, I still pray every day, I still refrain from mind-altering substances, but I do not get to a meeting every day, I now choose with whose attendees I connect. My online community plays a critical role in my sobriety; I will often go to all of you with a problem before anyone else!

    Enough rambling from me, thanks for getting me thinking this Monday morning!

    Josie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Josie! Isn’t it amazing how a cake can make you feel so grateful! So cool! Sounds like you had a great time and a nice vaca.

      I so agree, having a plan is so crucial and it helps to stay focused on what the goal is, which is to stay sober! And having routine is so very important too!

      I love the online community too! With three kids and a full time job I don’t have the time to go to meetings as often as I would like too. But I come here and I feel like I get the inspiration and support to get thru my days! And I get to “talk” to another alcoholic and that is the greatest benefit!

      Thanks Josie! Hugs!

      Like

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