Friday Night Pep-Talk: Where is the Addiciton Bottom?
TGIF! I am late with posting… it just has been one of those weeks, I have been a bit late with everything! But like they say better late than never, which seems to fit tonight’s theme pretty well!
I was recently talking to a newcomer who asked me Were is the bottom? It seemed like an odd question at first, where not what? But then when I though about it I could totally relate. I had several instance when I though I have definitely hit the bottom, but then somehow I made myself believe that it wasn’t a real bottom. For me it didn’t seem that I had a problem for a long time. I was just having a good time. If everybody would just get off my back, everything would be okay. I could handle it and I surely did not need anybody’s help!
But because alcoholism is a progressive disease, there comes a point at which even the most dedicated drunks as myself, start realizing that there just might be a problem. For most of us suffering from the disease of alcoholism it seems to be an almost universal truth that before things can get any better, they must get a lot worse – we call it “hitting the bottom.” This is the place where an alcoholic may reach before finally being ready to admit that there is a problem. Alcoholism does not stay in one place. It doesn’t hit a certain stage and then level off. It keeps deepening, affecting people physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. On all of those levels things seem to keep getting worse until finally one hits the bottom. (From: about.com)
So where is the bottom?
Nobody really knows.
For me, getting that first DUI might have been where the turning point came, but it didn’t. Getting locked up, even for a few hours, and facing the public humiliation of a court date could have been the signal I needed, but it wasn’t. I wore my DUI badge proudly – I mean doesn’t everyone get at least one of these in their lives? Unfortunately, I always found a way to blame it on something else or it was always somebody else’s fault. Bad luck, bad upbringing, bad boyfriend, bad job, bad life! I went on for years denying my downward spiral into the drunker stuper. I was fine. Really. F.I.N.E.
Then came many serious consequences and well another 6 years of drinking and contemplating if I actually had a problem! Every time something bad happened I kept thinking that, THAT WAS IT ! Just to find myself drinking again! Crazy. And my last drunk wasn’t some astonishing moment either, things generally speaking were ok, I actually did not have any outstanding consequences, but… I remember how I felt inside – I felt absolutely spiritually bankrupt and completely defeated! I was ready to gave up the fight, and that was where I found my bottom.
That was my journey. I know it took what it took to get sober and that is part of my journey, and it will be a part of your journey too. Whatever you do and however you do it, just don’t give up on getting sober, you do not have to wait for the bottom. You can decide that this is your bottom, right here, right now. If you have had enough then it’s time to change! You can get sober today! You can get your life back! No matter how far down you have gone, you can always get back up! So make a decision. Find help. And don’t drink! You will be amazed at what you will find ahead.
What do you think, where is the bottom?
For Other Friday Night Pep-Talk posts click HERE.
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