I see so many of my sober friends leading such healthy lives! They do yoga, and eat vegan, and grow organic foods, do cleanses on regular basis, and are totally into green everything! And they are now running marathons too! Wow. I am amazed. How do they do that?
Well, I still smoke, and drink tons of coffee and eat probably way too much sugar. There is no exercise or yoga on regular basis for me, and I love red meat and lots of butter over my veggies.
Is it time for another change?
When I was drinking I was definitely not healthy, especially since I often did not eat at all or very little, depending on how much I was drinking. When I was first getting sober I kinda had to learn how to eat regular food all together, and trying to quit anything else at the same time was not even a thought. As a matter of fact at the rehab they told us not to quit anything else within the first year. They told us that the different stages of withdrawal from alcohol may be harder when combined with the withdrawal from certain foods, and some foods like sugar may help with withdrawal. So I used caffeine and nicotine as my crutch… and candy… of course those aren’t foods either! LOL! But, it still feels like sometimes I need a crutch.
I still think that getting sober was so very, very difficult, especially following the four years of miserable relapsing – I just felt like I couldn’t give up anything else! I didn’t want to give up anything else!
And rewards! Where are my rewards! I often felt like I didn’t have any rewards left at all, you know for job well done, or the end of the week, or birthdays and holidays! I used to drink as a reward! No wait, who am I kidding – I drank because that’s what I did; I did not need a reason!
I read so many blogs and see so many of my friends going all healthy! I am truly amazed and I admire them that they are able to turn their lives around and change heir health so drastically! But me? Eh. I mean I have dieted after my babies and I did quit smoking when I was pregnant, but I love my occasional smoke breaks! And a nice piece of steak with garlic butter? Hmmm good! What is really weird is that I also feel like I deserve it. I often and still feel like I have worked so darn hard to quit my very best friend in the whole wide world (not really a best friend, really more like my worst enemy) so instead, I figured that I can have anything else, no matter how bad it is for me (well excluding mind altering substances!) and I still think if I don’t have a crutch then what will I do? Will I drink again! Oh and I so don’t want to drink again! But I have been sober for a while… I shouldn’t need a crutch anymore, right? Ugh.
So well, I was thinking, I suppose it’s all in moderation, like they say! Ha, so they say, but moderation is not really in my vocabulary! LOL! Definitely not when it comes to drinking! But maybe it’s time to get a bit healthier! Maybe nothing horribly drastic, I don’t see myself going vegan any time soon! But a little less caffeine? A little less sugar? And maybe little more exercise and little more salads!
I have changed many things in my life and gained sooo much more than I have ever expected. So, I think these are like my last few things that I am just hanging on to, you know, and I am now, finally coming to terms that I don’t need that anymore. In the end, this is just like getting sober; I think that I am giving up things, instead of looking at all the things that I will be gaining! And good health is definitely important!
What about you? Have you made many changes to live healthier in sobriety?
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