My New Year Recovery Resolution aka Word of the Year

The amazing post from Mishedup called Word Of The Year 2015 had me wonder for days about what I want my word to be. I am definitely not one to make many New Year resolutions, ok, well, actually, I have never made any resolution! But, I do like the idea of having a goal for the year, and something to look forward to having accomplished. There are many words that I can think of that would be great growth oriented slogans for this year, like: strength, acceptance, honesty, and openness.
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Yet, I am not quite sure. THE word!? One word!? That’s hard to pick. I am still thinking… and I just don’t know where I want to go, or what I want to do. How strange…

So I went back and read Mishedup’s post again. Suddenly, and as it happened for her (read her post), a part of the poem that she shared, completely resonated with me! OMG!

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.

-Wendell Berry

The very first sentence, when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work. For some reason, for the last several months, I have been feeling like I don’t know what to do. I am grasping for things out there to show me some direction, but it doesn’t feel like that direction is right for me.

I have to admit, that ever since I got sober, almost seven years ago, I’ve been running in a very definite direction. Now, I am not talking about the kind of running one may do to train for a marathon, but the kind of running one may do to get sober, and stay in recovery. I struggled for so long to get sober – 4 very, long and grueling years – that the last time I decided to get sober, I literally threw myself into recovery and immersed myself in the 12-step program. I was just so completely done, that I was willing to do anything to stay sober. And staying busy was definitely part of it. I packed my days from the time I woke up, to the midnight hour, at which the stores where I live stop selling alcohol. Every single hour of my free time, if I had any, I had filled up with meetings and recovery.

Then I got married and had kids and that kept me busy for a long time. Now my youngest is two and a half, the middle one is almost six and my oldest is eleven. My recovery has become my normal, and is in the maintenance mode. Nevertheless, things are still busy with a full-time job, my family, and my blog, there is not much time left for anything else.

During the holidays I saw people post their “year in review” and I noticed their huge lists of great memories that they have stashed away. I tried to look back and recall my year, and besides vacations, I can’t really remember much. The year just flew by!

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So I feel a bit rundown! I have been constantly ruining for so long now that I am often not able to just sit, or just be there. I’d like to stop and smell the roses, but to tell you the truth, I am not sure that I actually can. I do take some breaks. Part of my stress management are the short self-breaks but they usually only last 10-15 min. I also try to veg-out on my 45min train ride to work. Well sometimes. Many times I blog, or tweet, or answer emails.

But what if I could really gear down my morning routine, or even my daily routine? Maybe even plan less for each day, or spread it out some, or cut some time from other activities, like laundry? Lol, that won’t happen! But maybe less time on Facebook and Twitter. Maybe I can also worry less, think less, stress less, and overall do less too! Maybe I can also slowdown this crazy mind of mine, and slowdown all the thoughts that continuously run through. Maybe I could gear down my whole life? What if by doing less of everything, I actually gain more? Hmmm.

What I really want is more time for staying in the moment, and being able to stay there and be fully aware and centered. I want to be more engaged in my life. And I am not quite sure what I mean by that, since it seems that I am pretty engaged as is. But it also feels like just because I am doing many things, and I am super busy all the time, it does not necessarily mean that I am really engaged. And that reminds me of the 4 years I spent trying to get sober; I was doing 12-step work and recovery, but I was not really engage in it.

I know that I want to put more focus on the people and things that are right around me. I think last year I spent lots of effort constantly reaching out THERE instead of staying right HERE. And I am really coming to a realization that here is where I should, need, and really want to be the most. Time is really going by so fast. I want to remember and cherish each moment. I want to grow my sober memory garden, and I want to be able to say one day: Those were the good old days!

So my word, will be:

Centered

Yes, simple yet full of meaning to me. I think I’d rather be fully centered here, than only partly, sprinkled everywhere!

What is your WORD going to be!? I would love to hear.

If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with alcohol addiction, please click the Find Support link for an extensive list of support groups. Also please check out the links to many useful resources in the sidebar, and always feel free to contact me anytime at sobercourage@gmail.com.

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. Mine is absolutely “patient,” since I’ve spent so many years internally demanding that everything go my way immediately when I want it. So this year I just gotta be patient + trust that more will always be revealed. 😌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Patient is such a good word! We all need it, we live in such a fast paced world i think we are somewhat conditioned to want everthing now! I am thinking especially at work for me, when i am told basically to drop every thing and do something, then i expect the same elsewhere. Patience can be applied in so many situations! Love it! Thanks for stopping by. Hugs!

      Like

  2. ainsobriety says:

    Centered sounds like a great word.
    Mine is love.

    I really thought hard about stillness, as it is part of my meditation mantra. But love stood out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Both great! Love is so huge. Love can be hard too, i didn’t know how to love, especially myself. Or accept love. But it is so important for our recovery.

      Thank you for sharing tour word. Hugs.

      Like

  3. mishedup says:

    oh Maggie….this made me cry!
    I think because that poem blew me away too, and it was a sweet reminder of how we are never alone, not ever. We come to different conclusions or words!), but we get there together, yes?
    Centered is an awesome word! and i love how you are applying it…i have a feeling it’s going to be an amazing year!
    xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Awww. Thank you so much! I loved that different parts of the same poem resonated with us! So very cool! We are never alone indeed! Sending many hugs!

      Like

  4. My word is “blossom,” and it’s about time!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yey! Blossom is awesome! And it rhimes! Lol! Thanks for stopping by. Hugs!

      Like

  5. This is beautiful. I am really glad you shared your thought process on coming up with a word too and it sounds like one that really resonated with you. I hope you have a very centered year 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! The process was quite difficult but really empowering. I feel pretty good about it. Hope I can keep it up 😀

      Hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. jmcraig2014 says:

    “Acceptance” of where I am in my life right now, not where I want to be, not where I “should” be, just accepting everyday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh, yes! Acceptance! There is that saying, you are exact where you’re supposed to be, I used to hate hearing it. But I get it now. Everythi g that happens, happens for a reason. I might not know it at the time. But I often can see it later.

      Acceptance is so powerful!

      Thank you. Hugs!

      Like

  7. Love the word, Maggie! I think being centered can be used in so many ways, and you certainly nail them here – from our inner sanctum to our frazzled outside world. I certainly can identify, and just because we’re sober doesn’t mean the world stops being a crazy place or slows down just for us!

    I look forward in seeing how things shift for you 🙂

    Paul

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Paul! It is a well rounded word, I think. Oh I wish I could slow down the world! Lol! That would be nice, huh? Though someone said to me once – you know, time always passes at the same speed. So I guess it’s me that has to slowdown and get centered! Lol! I am ok with that. 🙂

      I think we all should do a check in, maybe like in 6 months and see how we’re doing with our words. I’d love to hear how it’s working in our lifes.

      What do you think?

      Liked by 1 person

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