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Why Is Getting Sober So Hard

Change is not a bolt of lightning that arrives with a zap. It is a bridge built brick by brick, every day, with sweat and humility and slips. It is hard work, and slow work, but it can be thrilling to watch it take shape. –Sarah Hepola

I love cheering people on throughout their sober journeys with my peppy slogans: You can do this! Keep moving forward! You are doing awesome! One day at a time! Do not look back! Do not quit before the miracle happens! You are doing it! Woot Woot!  

However, while positive reinforcement and enthusiastic encouragement with catchy slogans may be helpful, I also do not want to sugarcoat things.


Getting sober is hard!

It just is. There are so many aspects to getting sober that we initially are often unable to see any of them. Maybe we do not quite believe that it is hard because other people tell us that all we have to do is to stop. – Can’t you just stop!

Maybe we are also in a an excessive amount of denial about how huge of a problem our drinking has become.

Maybe it is because it is so socially acceptable and that we may appear weak if we cannot handle our liquor, and/or need to stop drinking.

Maybe we believe that it is easy because we just do not know any different.

Maybe it is because you have quit once for a bet, and managed to stay sober for an entire week, so then you believed that it was easy – yes, that was me! LOL!

Maybe it is because we have boundless energy that propels us forward to take this huge leap and stop drinking… and then we are disappointed when the first few days, and weeks of sobriety are overwhelmingly difficult.

There are many reasons we may think that getting sober is easy. Nevertheless, for people with addiction to alcohol, it is not easy to put down the drink because we are often addicted both physically and psychologically.

Early recovery is an amazing journey that can be both very exciting and extremely difficult. It can also be scary and unpredictable, as we enter into this great big unknown. We may feel exited and scared at the same time, and anticipate instantaneous rewards after giving up the drink. Instead, we are often faced with extreme emotions, problems concentrating, poor physical health, and loneliness. We may even feel like we were better off drinking! What is all this for if we feel upset all the time, and everything sets us off. Life is turning out to be more difficult, and we long for the return of the carefree days.


Therefore, as you maybe embarking on your sober journey, it helps to know what changes you maybe experiencing, and how long they may last. It is important to not underestimate your disease; every single person does at first. We all know that alcohol provides tremendous tolerance to discomfort, so it is not hard to be easy going and relaxed when we are drinking. That does not mean that life without drinking will be easy!

It is know that withdrawal symptoms can continue for weeks after you have stopped drinking. The symptoms can affect your mood and your mental state. The aches and pains of withdrawals can make you feel irritable, restless, and uncomfortable. You may also suffer from insomnia during the early days of your recovery, which may add to these symptoms.
If you have used alcohol or drugs for a long time, you will most likely suffer from nutritional deficiencies. Poor nutrition may be causing you to have the “foggy head” feeling, and attribute to the lack of concentration and short-term memory loss.

You may also notice that you are flooded with all kinds of new emotions that you might not even be able to identify. After a prolonged time numbing your feelings that you have not really had to deal with, this can definitely feel overwhelming.

You may also feel guilty about your drinking behavior, which may cause you to be stuck in shame and guilt. You may also have a tendency to blow small issues out of proportion and overreact to everyday situations, as managing new situations sober can prove to be a challenge.


Quitting drinking also means saying goodbye to friends who are still drinking or even using drugs, and staying away from the places where you drank. Often when you get sober, you get overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness.

However, escaping the prison of alcoholism usually comes as a huge relief, as you may have been battling with this problem for many years. Moreover, little by little, as you gather your sober days, you will gain tremendous freedom and your life will start changing right before your eyes! Things will be getting better as you are getting healthier and your body gets used to functioning without alcohol. Your moods will even out, and your sleep pattern will return. You will make better friends and have more people that you can relate to. You will be able to look at yourself and not feel the guilt or the shame! You will be happy!

Early recovery is indeed thrilling and terrifying, sometimes simultaneously. Many of us will look back on our first year of recovery with a tremendous feeling of relief and satisfaction, as well as a newfound sense of courage, and a feeling of “Whew! What just happened? How did I get through this?” But we do, we get through it and we thrive!

So know that –You can do this! Just keep moving forward! You are doing awesome! One day at a time! Do not look back! Do not quit before the miracle happens! You are doing it! Woot Woot!

Are you in early recover? How are you doing?

If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with alcohol addiction, please click the Find Support link for an extensive list of support groups. Also please check out the links to many useful resources in the sidebar, and always feel free to contact me anytime at

You may also find some great inspiration and support from all the awesome sober bloggers listed in the side bar under POSTS I LIKE and RECOVERY BLOGGERS, as well as Sober Courage page on Facebook and Sober Courage on Twitter.



  1. Getting sober: the absolute hardest thing I have ever done, but the most rewarding, greatest thing I have ever experienced!! Thank you for your awesome post:) once again, I am reminded that we are not on this journey alone…. so happy to have ‘met’ you on here.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I am at 14 months, it was hard in the beginning. Getting through the second holiday season was much better than the first. Heading out on my first sober vacation, all inclusive (gulp). I feel nervous but have enough sober time and tools that I think I will be fine. Please send positive vibes my way!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Congrats on 14 months! That is awesome and yea, you are past true first year when most of us just learn how not to drink, the second year we learn how to live sober.

      Sober vacations, just like the first sober holiday, can be tough. Try to remind yourself how it would be if you were still drinking – you’d probably miss all of it, right!? And stay connected, there are meetings online and support groups too – and and and most of all have fun!

      Sending good vibes! Hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

    • I think up to 1 year would be considered early recovery. Long-term would be 5+. But really no one makes these rules. It’s more about how you feel on your journey. Keep chugging!

      Liked by 1 person

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