This Mother’s Day I Am Dumping The Self-Pity

In a midst of feeling some deep self-pity, I decided to write a heart-wrenching post about how I was all alone after losing both my bio-mom and my step-mom, and how I was feeling overwhelming sadness about the approaching Mother’s day. But as I was looking at some of the pictures that I wanted to include in the post, my self-pity started turning into gratitude. It was slow and gradual, but the feelings were washing over me as I was going down the memory lane, and I suddenly realized that I was actually smiling.

How often had I been holding on to these memories only wishing that my moms were here to share them with me. Every year I wallow in the fact that they are both gone, and I am now motherless! Oh, how these sadly overpowering feelings give me a strange sense of comfort and calming misery.

Except that I seem to forget that I am a mom now too! I have so many wonderful memories with my kids and very day I get to create these awesome memories with them. It is certainly not fair for me or them to keep holding on to this sadness instead of focusing on what is right in front of me. So this year I am dumping my self-pity, I am done with feeling sorry for myself and sitting in this misery. I am supper grateful that my moms where here for the time that they were given and I cherish all the moments that I got to spend with them. But this Mother’s Day I will remember all the wonderful times that I have had as a mom, and that these gifts would not have been possible if I never got sober! #WeDoRecover

Happy Mother’s Day!

If you have ever wondered why misery feels so comfortable, check out this great article: Why Your Misery Makes You Happy

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15 Comments Add yours

  1. mishedup says:

    we always have that choice, no? self-pity or gratitude! So glad you chose the grateful.
    My mother is dead too, but i have a son,i am a mother and that i celebrate.
    thanks for this!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes! So true. It is a choice and I choose to be grateful and happy!
      Happy mother’s day! Hugs.


  2. Abbie says:

    Right on! You seem to have your Mom’s genes. She only looks (maybe) 10 years older than you!
    Beautiful fam, darlin!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL. Maybe 15 years! The meds she was on were mostly steroids and made her look young and not sick. It was strange but she actually had cancer in all these pics.

      Thank you Abbie! Happy Mother’s Day!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Abbie says:

        Wow! That reminded me of the old Billy Crystal bit (you may not be old enough to remember this) from SNL where he told us “it’s better to LOOK marvelous than to feel marvelous – and YOU LOOK MAHVELOUS!!”
        You have her smile.
        Happy Mother’s Day, Magz. 💐

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Anonymous says:

    this post reminds me of the fear I have of loosing my both parents since I have no relatives in this country and my addiction made me totally unsocial…Im just trying not let this fear paralyze me. I need to start getting in touch with my relatives which i have pretty much avoided for over 10 years since drinking made me totally not care. I also very hopeful that since I am becoming more social I will eventually be able to make some close friendships lol but it will require a lot of effort

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can totally relate. Fear can be paralyzing. But then you don’t want to regret that you never made contact with them. In sobriety we often are able to rebuild all of our broken relationships. Stay hopeful. Sending hugs.


      1. Anonymous says:

        awww…thanks for hugs lmao

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for sharing this. It’s so nice to see you acknowledge your stepmom on Mother’s Day too. As a stepmom myself it hurts when I am ignored on this day. Looks like you are creating great memories with your children.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I think being a step parent is super hard! I am sorry you get ignored. Sending you many hugs!


  5. Kim says:

    Your post made made me tear up and also your pics brought a smile to my face. I can see you have a beautiful heart just my hearing your love for both mothers but especially for how you felt about your stepmom. That’s not something everyone can do. You and your mom look so much alike. And I’m positive they would be so proud of the mother you are. OK back to tearing up.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Awww. Thanks Kim. That’s so very sweet. I am surely learning to be grateful for what experiences I had and these pics really brought it all out. I was also super grateful that I did get sober before my step mom passed and I was able to be there for her.
      Thanks for stopping by. Sending big hugs!


  6. karenmalena says:

    I love your blogs! I look forward to reading when I see a new one in my email. You write very much like I do–gritty and from the heart! I think that’s a great gift and blessing! Thank you for baring your soul!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. That is super nice to hear! My hope is always that it helps someone too. Thank you! Hugs!


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