Talkin’ 2 Myself – SC Podcast EP_06

Episode _06 was recorded in my minivan, because sometimes I just cannot find time to record properly!

But with the impending Mother’s day, I just needed to get a few things out. So on this episode I discuss the guilt I have been carrying around about not being there for my mom when she was sick, my daughter and her (my) new doggie, dealing with my own stigma and the power of the newcomer.

I hope you enjoy this episode, and please be sure to check out all the other great podcasts on the SRN Network.

Also I will have part 2 of the new feature on sobercourage.com – Tools For Living Sober out this week.

PODCAST LINKS

Here is the State Farm insurance (not a car company)  commercial that I am referencing in the podcast:

 

Mother’s Day blog post: This Mother’s Day I Am Dumping The Self-Pity

My daughters new doggie (AKA My new baby.)

Cokie

The article I referenced: Prince And The (Addiction) Revolution – “The day Prince died, there were also 115 other overdose deaths.” – I was completely wrong in quoting 300+ deaths, nevertheless 115 is way too many!

Here are some statistics from ODC: Prescription Opioid Overdose Data from CDC: Overdose deaths involving prescription opioids have quadrupled since 1999,1  and so have sales of these prescription drugs. From 1999 to 2014, more than 165,000 people have died in the U.S. from overdoses related to prescription opioids.

PODCAST MUSIC

Talkin’ 2 Myself – EMINEM
(feat. Kobe)

Ayo Before I start this song man
I just want to thank everybody for being so patient
And bearing with me over these last couple of years
While I figure this shit out

Is anybody out there?
It feels like I’m talkin to myself
No one seems to know my struggle
And everything I come from
Can anybody hear me?
I guess I keep talkin to myself
It feels like I’m going insane
Am I the one who’s crazy?

So why in the world do I feel so alone
Nobody but me, I’m on my own
Is there anyone out there
Who feels the way I feel
If there is, let me hear just so I know I’m not the only one

I went away I guess to open up some lanes
But there was no one who even knew that I was going through growin’ pains
Hatred was flowing through my veins
On the verge of going insane
I almost made a song dissin Lil Wayne
It’s like I was jealous of him ’cause of the attention he was gettin’
I felt horrible about myself
He was spittin and I wasn’t
Anyone who was buzzin back then coulda got it
Almost went at Kanye too
God it feels like I’m goin’ psychotic
Thank God that I didn’t do it
I would’ve had my ass handed to me
And I knew it but Proof wasn’t here to see me through it
I’m in the booth poppin another pill tryna talk myself into it
Are you stupid? You gon’ start dissin people for no reason?
Especially when you can’t even write a decent punchline even
You’re lying to yourself, you’re slowly dying, you’re denying
Your health is declining with your self-esteem, you’re crying out for help

Marshall you’re no longer the man, that’s a bitter pill to swallow
All I know is I’m wallowin’, self-loathing and hollow
Bottoms up on the pill bottle
Maybe I’ll hit my bottom tomorrow
My sorrow echoes in this hall though
But I must be talkin to the wall though
I don’t see nobody else (I guess I keep talkin to myself)
But all these other rappers suck is all that I know
I’ve turned into a hater, I’ve put up a false bravado
But Marshall is not a egomaniac that’s not his motto
He’s not a desperado he’s desperate, it’s starting to bottle inside ’em
One foot on the brake one on the throttle
Fallin asleep with writers block in the parking lot of McDonald’s
But instead of feeling sorry for yourself do something about it
Admit you got a problem you brain is clouded you pouted long enough
It isn’t them it’s you you fuckin baby
Quit worrying about what they do and do shady
I’m fucking going crazy

So I pick myself off the ground and fuckin swam ‘fore I drowned
Hit my bottom so hard I bounced twice suffice this time around
It’s different them last two albums didn’t count
Encore I was on drugs, Relapse I was flushing em out
I’ve come to make it up to you no more fucking around
I’ve got something to prove to fans cause I feel like I’ve let em down
So please accept my apology I finally feel like I’m back to normal
I feel like me again, let me formally reintroduce myself to you for those of you who don’t know
The new me’s back to the old me and homie I don’t show no
Signs of slowin up, pullin up, blowin up, all over
My life is no longer a movie but the show ain’t over homos
I’m back with a vengeance, homie, Weezy keep ya head up,
T.I., keep ya head up, Kanye, keep ya head up,
Don’t let up, keep slayin em
Rest in Peace to DJ AM
Cause I know what it’s like
I struggle with this shit every single day

So there it is (there it is)
Damn
It feels like I just woke up or something
I guess I just… forgot who the fuck I was man
Ay yo
And to anybody who thought about going there, it was never nothing personal, some shit I was going through
And to everybody else…
I’m back! (I’m back) haha


If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with alcohol addiction, please click the Find Support link for an extensive list of support groups. Also please check out the links to many useful resources in the sidebar, and always feel free to contact me anytime at sobercourage@gmail.com.

You may also find some great inspiration and support from all the awesome sober bloggers listed in the side bar under POSTS I LIKE and RECOVERY BLOGGERS, as well as Sober Courage page on Facebook and Sober Courage on Twitter.

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