This is a topic that is dear to me, and a topic that I believe that I have not spoken about enough. Most of us do not understand what abuse is, because often it is not physical in nature. Many victims go on for years not realizing that they have been severely abused, because they have been hiding in shame and guilt that the abuse had brought onto them. My hope is this post will help someone to have that realization and seek help!
What is Domestic Violence?
“Domestic violence is best understood as a pattern of abusive behaviors–including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks as well as economic coercion–used by one intimate partner against another (adult or adolescent) to gain, maintain, or regain power and control in the relationship. Batterers use of a range of tactics to frighten, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, often injure, and sometimes kill a current or former intimate partner.”
For more general information about domestic violence, including potential warning signs for emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline‘s information page: Is This Abuse? Get the Facts.” – from About DV.
Red Flags to Look Out For:
Below are some of the statements that you may have heard through the years of abuse. Some of them you may have just discounted as “normal.” Maybe it was not until the abuse was sever enough to interfere with your day-to-day life, that you stared questioning the validity of these statements. If you can relate to even a few of these, you are not alone! I feel your pain, and your fear and your loss, as well as an estimated 1 in 3 women in the U.S. who experience abuse by an intimate partner every year.
Other Abusive Behaviors:
The list below from One Mom’s Battle site, is dead on for me. This is NOT a “normal” behavior. THIS IS A FORM OF ABUSE. Co-parenting should be a common and a mutual goal and not a battle for control!
History: Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) evolved from the “Day of Unity” held in October 1981 and conceived by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The intent was to connect advocates across the nation who were working to end violence against women and their children.
If you are in immediate danger, please:
- Call the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
- Call, text or chat Love Is Respect—The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474 or TTY 1-866-331-8453, text “loveis” to 22522 or live chat at http://www.loveisrespect.org.
- Call the U.S. National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE), which automatically connects you to a local U.S. rape crisis program based on the area code of your phone number. Secure, online private chat is available at https://ohl.rainn.org/online/.
Speak Up. Find Help. Get Free.
If you, or anyone you know, is currently in a domestic abuse situation please contact the help line 1-800-799-7233. Speak Up. Find Help. Get Free.
If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with alcohol addiction, please check out the Sober Courage menu at the top of this page for an extensive list of support groups and recovery related articles. You may also find some great inspiration, support and resources at the bottom of this page.