One of the main views that really kept me from getting sober, was the fact that I was simply afraid and could not imagine my life without ever drinking again! This fear based idea often kept me awake at night and stuck for a long time, hating my drinking life and fearing the possibility of a sober life.
I actually did not know any people who lived without ever drinking, and my fear of being the outcast or constantly being judged by people for not drinking was just too overwhelming! But when I finally took the leap of faith and begun my sober journey I realized that many of these fears were just not true.
1. I WILL END UP WITHOUT ANY FRIENDS
You may not have any drinking friends anymore, that is true. For the most part, the people who also have a drinking problem will not want to hang out with you, or in all reality, you might not want to hang out with them. People that care about you will be grateful that you have quit, and will continue to be your friends. Furthermore, you will be able to make new friends, not just bar buddies. Also, with the boom of internet recovery you can find support groups and recovery friends practically anywhere.
2. MY LIFE WILL BECOME BORING
I have to be honest here for a minute! Yes, in the beginning it will feel like your life is completely boring. And this is mainly because the time that you had spent drinking is all of a sudden wide open to you, and you do not have anything to fill it up with! This may give you the perception of boredom. So especially early on, work to find new things to fill your time with. When you find new hobbies and interests, your life will become so full you will be wishing that you had more time in a day! To get you started, check out my list of 100 Fun Things to Do Sober.
3. NO ONE WILL WANT TO DATE ME
This one is completely not true! As a matter of fact, more people will want to date you because you will be more approachable and you will not be getting out of control, or making an ass of yourself on dates. You also will be able to make better decisions as to choosing your dates, and you will have more self-respect when it comes to how you want to be treated. And, people who also do not drink, or drinking is not a huge part of their life, will find you even more attractive. So, this is a win-win situation for sure!
4. MY LIFE WILL BE MORE DIFFICULT
Life may still feel difficult, and that is just life. You will notice that you have more feelings, and possibly stress more in the beginning, but eventually you will learn how to cope with those times in different ways. See my post Tips For Managing Stress and Staying Sober. Fortunately, life will not be more difficult because of your drinking, and you will learn that every issue can be resolved easier, faster and better when you are sober.
5. I WILL MISS OUT ON ALL THE FUN
Not true at all! As a matter of fact, you will have more fun because you will be able to do anything you want at any time, and anywhere, because you will not be restricted by alcohol. Sobriety will give you the freedom to do all the things that you have always wanted to do! Believe me when I tell you how free you will feel when you can just get in your car at any time and go anywhere!
6. I WILL FAIL AT GETTING SOBER
Yes, you may stumble and relapse, it is possible. I stumbled a lot! But that is not a failure. Relapse happens and it is a part of the process, not for everyone but for many. It’s like being on a diet, you may pick up a cupcake at some point. So. don’t dismiss any time that you were sober, it is still a part of the recovery journey! As long as you keep trying and you do not give up, you cannot fail! Take the lesson to learn, and keep going!!
Fear is normal at every stage of recovery. Many people start their journey with some or lots of nervousness. Likewise, even many people who leave a rehab are full of worry. But no matter how you feel, believe me, getting sober and living a life of recovery may just be the best thing that you have done for yourself and your family! You are on a journey to improve your life!
Do you have any fears about getting sober? Please share in the comments!
If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)*, please check out the Sober Courage menu at the top of this page for an extensive list of support groups and recovery related articles.
*Problem drinking that becomes severe is given the medical diagnosis of “alcohol use disorder” or AUD. AUD is a chronic relapsing brain disease characterized by compulsive alcohol use, loss of control over alcohol intake, and a negative emotional state when not using (Ref: NIAAA).