4 Tips For Managing Stress and Staying Sober

I have had a couple of tough weeks and I have been trying really hard to stay positive and confident. But I also know that I need to talk about it and let it out because if I keep it in, it will lead me to a drink and I am determined to stay sober!

Of course something funny always helps too!

I am struggling with some unexpected change. It’s lots of change all of the sudden and it’s overwhelming. Things are happening that I have some control over, or maybe none, but I think that I do or that I should have control over. Things are happening that I don’t understand. Things are happening that I have never had to face before in sobriety and I have no idea how to deal with, so I want to run and check out! I actually feel physically sick and anxious. I am in fear.

EXCEPT, I need to, want to, have to, stay sober! No matter what! So I have to talk about it and ask for help and support. I have called few people in my network already and went to a meeting. And I have continue to do whatever is necessary to protect my sobriety! I know if I drink, things will only get worse. This, I have proven many times. Nothing good happens when I drink.

So, here I am, trying to get thru this, waiting for the dust to settle, for things to sort of go back to the normalcy or to become the new normalcy. Right now I feel uncertain, lost, and deflated. All I know is that if I just stay sober, it will all work itself out and that I will get to the other side with new knowledge and experience.

I found this info which really seems to be appropriate to my situation at HELPGUIDE.org 

Stress Management Strategy

  1. Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
  2. Look for the upside. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
  3. Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.
  4. Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

I can truly relate to the above! And I know that I can get thru this and stay sober! I have to keep positive and continue to trudge forward. I know that tomorrow is always filled with promise.

How do you deal with stress in sobriety?


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19 Comments Add yours

  1. Running From the Booze says:

    I’ve got some big changes going on, too. My game plan for the next couple of weeks is to reaffirm my commitment(hourly if I have too) to not pick up, to stick with my
    safe people and wait for the dust to settle. Waiting and doing nothing is going to be a test for me. Hang in there. 🙂

    Like

    1. Hi! Thanks so much for your comment. I tend to want to fix things and figure out why they are happening this way, so your comment is nice to hear. Sometimes we just need to wait it out and let it be. Thank you again. You hang in too! Hugs.

      Like

  2. mishedup says:

    Oh Maggie..

    whatever it is I am sorry. Change is hard enough; unexpected change is loathsome!
    Great strategies though…protecting your sobriety is paramount because, at least for me, without that I have nothing. I have heard amazing stories in meetings about the way people have been able to handle great stress, death, losing jobs and staying sober through it. By staying close to and talking with your trusted friends, going to meetings and sing the many tools that are offered us in 12 step recovery I ave come to believe anything is possible to get through sober. I am grateful for that….and you, for writing this and giving concrete strategies that all can use.

    I hope things get better fast, keep reaching out. I’ll be sending strength and support. XO

    Like

    1. Thank you so much. Live gotten through some tough patches before, somehow this is different and I am not sure why. I think maybe cause it affects me directly. But I know things will get better. I probably need to be more in acceptance, instead of fear. Thanks for your support! Hugs.

      Like

  3. loserine says:

    Maggie,

    Your honesty in your words is truly mesmerizing! It takes a lot of courage, I know, to admit your own flaws and accept that you need to change. The fact that you can share your experience to an audience is genuinely so inspiring. It is always refreshing to read something honest and raw, and your blog is exactly that. The fact that you can be so open about what you are going through shows how strong you really are, and your bravery is extremely admirable. Change is terrifying, and especially so when you have to go through it sober. I can somewhat relate to what you are going through, which is why the content of your blog captivated my attention. Going through your posts, I feel as though I have gotten to know you by your voice that clearly shows through in your writing, and that is why it so easy to empathize. I would like to end this comment now with remember that you are stronger than the effects of alcohol, and do not give up on writing as it is (although cliche) one of the best forms of therapy.

    Catherine

    Like

    1. Hi, thank you for the kind words. Yes, writing is really therapeutic. I know that it puts out my raw feelings but it also gets them out. Me the amazing suppport that I get in return just makes it so much more manageable. We have all gone through these times. And I have lots of tools, I just need to use them. The idea that I can do it all by myself has to be squashed. I need help. And thank you much again, thank you for your support. Hugs.

      Like

  4. Amy says:

    Keep going. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time. It sucks to try to stay sober and deal with big big life stuff, but YOU CAN. And don’t worry about staying positive, and confident. Feel down, and needy. That’s OK. Sometimes I find that I feel better faster if I don’t try to band-aid over it, but to have a few days where I’m down in the dumps and getting it out. It doesn’t mean you aren’t doing OK, it just means that you are totally normal and having a hard time. Which is just fine.

    xoxoxo
    amy

    Like

    1. Thank you Amy! That is so comforting to hear because I tend to just want to fix everything right away and I want to feel better right away! But yes, I can just be and let it be. It’s ok not to feel great all the time! What a relief 🙂

      Like

  5. Change is so, so hard. I always feel it physically too, not just emotionally and that extra physical sense of conflict in my body makes it all feel worse. I’m pulling for you Maggie! The only way out is through.

    Like

    1. Thank you Karen! I have never had a physical reaction like this, it has been really strange, it would just come on and I felt like I just couldn’t breathe. But I am getting better. Some things have settled for now, more changes to come though next month. It will be ok – I love that line “The only way out is through” –

      Like

  6. As always, your post is chock full of awesome-ness! I really appreciate this information, it has helped me as much as it helped you. Thank you so much, Maggie, for sharing the information you have learned, and I hope things start to even out for you!

    Like

    1. Hi Josie! Thank you, all these things are what I am trying to remember to do myself! I always hope that it may help someone else too, we all have crap and go through tough patches, I have to remember that, because I often feel like it’s just me! Lol! I love the support, thank you! 🙂

      Like

  7. Anonymous says:

    Been sober 10 months and been in AA but lately the past 2 weeks the desire to drink has been getting stronger. I have been doing all the right things but tonight I feel nothing but the desire to have a drink because nothing seems to be making me feel better and don’t feel like I have anyone around…

    Like

    1. I am sorry to hear! It sounds like a difficult time and I hope you were able to get thought it. Sometimes we just need to feel our feeling and let them be – they do always pass though. Actually that is the healthy way of dealing with difficult times – to acknowledge the feeling and ride it out until it passes. But our expectations often are to make ourselves happy quickly so we don’t have to feel bad – this is one of the reasons I drank into oblivion! Also having a support network can be very helpful! I rely glad that you came by here and left a comment – I really hope that you are feeling better. Please keep in touch! Sending hugs!

      Like

  8. We’re here for you, Maggie 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Paul! I really appreciate it.

      Like

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