Tools for Recovery: Let Go and Let God Box

When I hold a death grip on everything in my life, and things do not go may way, I find myself stuck in fear and I try to control everything even more. But I know that I actually have very little and often no control over people, things and places around me. I only have control over me and how we deal with the given situations.

Over the last several years in my sobriety, I have noticed that things go much more smoothly when I give up control and when I allow them to happen instead of trying to desperately make them happen. Unfortunately, I often struggle with this, because although I am much better than I used to be, I am still a bit of a control freak. I often waste lots of good energy trying to plan, predict, and prevent things that I cannot possibly plan, predict, or prevent, but somewhere in side of me, I am convinced that I can!

I try to control things for many reasons, but mostly because I get a sense of security. I also:

  1. Want to control things because I fear what I think might happen if I don’t.
  2. Like to control because I am attached to the favorable outcome, my way.
  3. Feel that I am successful and get things done.

Of course control is wonderful if everything turns out the way I wanted it too! Unfortunately that doesn’t happen often and I am left disappointed and resentful.

However, the energy of letting go accomplishes much more than the energy of control.

When I am stuck and have a hard time letting go, I turn to my trusty old tool, the GOD box. Of course do not be frightened by its name, in case you’re like me — not religious, you can call it whatever you wish and it does no even have to be a box. The point is to be able to do something physical as you are turning it over, or letting it go, or accepting it.

Whatever I am struggling with, resentment or a fear, or a difficult situation, I write it on a piece of paper and I put it in the box to give it to God, or the powers that maybe – whatever makes you comfortable. Then I am not to think of that struggle again. When I feel like I have let it go, I can throw the paper away!

I have a God box that I received for my three year soberversary, from a dear friend. Inside of it is a little poem:

When your head starts to worry,
And your mind just can’t rest,
Put your thoughts down on paper,
And let God do the rest…

I love this tool, because I have a hard time doing things that do not include doing something physical; I can’t seem to do it just in my head or heart! But this works wonders! My box is empty right now, but I am getting ready to fill it up!

Go ahead, give it a try! Let me know how it’s working for you.




Friday Night Pep-Talk: Don’t Drink No Matter What!

adventure alone beautiful calm
Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

Happy sober Friday once again y’all. Hope you had a good week and are already to unwind, alcohol free.

Today, I am going to unwind by letting it all out, and maybe you had a rough week too and need to unwind also, huh? Well, grab your pen or keyboard, and lets get it all out! Writing out my frustrations has often proven to be a great tool against picking up that drink! Once all the crap is out of my head, I no longer have to dwell on it. I can let it all go, and move on!

So, here is the description of my crazy week – it was crazy! Crazy in my head, crazy at home, and crazy at work! Just all crazy, and I am not even PMSing! Ha! And guess what? I am still sober! How is this possible!?

I just don’t drink no matter what! Yep! No matter what! That means when my work gets nuts, and deadlines are fast approaching, and God forbid our #1 guy is on vacation, and people have attitudes, (or maybe I have the attitude ?), and the work is all piling-up and I don’t know what is coming next, and from where, and I can’t imagine how I’m going to get it all done, I don’t drink!

alone beach calm dawn
Photo by Tyler Lastovich on Pexels.com

That means that when I spend three sleepless nights all because I have let my ego take control, and now I have all this swirling crap in my head about what I want to do when I grow up, and who am I really, and where is my life going, and why I haven’t done this and the other like my friends have, and how come I am not as far in life as they are!

That’s right! I don’t drink! I use my tools!

I had to pull out all my tools this week, especially the ones I picked up in the beginning, when I was counting the hours, and minutes till the stores closed so I could feel safe and not like I was just gonna run out at any second, to the nearest place that sold alcohol, and grab the biggest container of wine that I could find and poor myself a gigantic tumbler of wine! (because really, I didn’t use wine glasses!) Ha! That’s right! Oh, but I digress.

Tools! Sober tools are so important, because most of my life I had only one tool and I used it to deal with everything! But my tool broke long time ago and I have never been able to make it work again. So, I had to pick up new tools!

I often find myself singing this song that I found on YouTube, to help my five-year old with his frustration! It’s Elmo and Common in a video about breathing the monster out. (I known what you’re thinking, but give it a chance!) It’s really cool and easy to remember because it is so freaking catchy.

Watch “Sesame Street: Common and Colbie Caillat – “Belly…” on YouTube: http://youtu.be/_mZbzDOpylA

Here are some of my favorite tools:

Take lots of little breaks!

I take a walk, or a drive, or sit in the bathroom for a bit. Any time away from the given situation can ease my anxiety and frustrations.

Drink lots of water rather than lots of coffee!

I keep coffee intake to a minimum, because coffee will not help me stay awake when I am exhausted, instead it will drain me from the nutrients and the water that my body needs to deal with stress.

Repeat the Serenity Prayer, over, and over, and over!

Repeat a positive affirmation, a meditation or a prayer. It focuses me in a different direction and clears my head up from all the negative thinking.

Keep reminding myself that this is temporary!

No matter how I feel at a time, it does not last forever. I may feel like it does, right now, but it’s really does not, and nothing is ever the end of the world, and whatever uncomfortable, crazy period of time I am experiencing it does not have to be the entire day!

adventure alone beautiful calm
Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

Whew! Well, those are few of my main tools! Here is a few more form the Helping Guide

Healthy ways to relax and recharge:

  • Go for a walk.
  • Spend time in nature.
  • Call a good friend.
  • Sweat out tension with a good workout.
  • Write in your journal.
  • Take a long bath.
  • Light scented candles.
  • Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
  • Play with a pet.
  • Work in your garden.
  • Get a massage.
  • Curl up with a good book.
  • Listen to music.
  • Watch a comedy.

I hope you’re doing well, I hope you wrote out some of your frustrations, and I hope that you got a few more tools to add to your toolbox!

Have an awesome Friday Night, and remember: don’t drink no matter what!

What other tools have you used? Please share!




Hope

adult background beach blue
Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large.[1] As a verb, its definitions include: “expect with confidence” and “to cherish a desire with anticipation.” – Wikipedia.

Today I received enough encouragement, and positive reinforcement from a completely unlikely source to feel like I actually can keep going. A stark difference from yesterday, when I was in tears, overwhelmed, and feeling completely alone – and damn it, no one even cared to ask me how I was doing! Some days are like that.

Some days, I have no clue what keeps me together. I am just running around trying to remember everything that needs to be done. Those days, I am just seriously wingin’ it… the kids, the laundry, the work, and yeah even the eyeliner!

Nevertheless, most days, I just am reminded that for me (and you!!! Yes YOU!!), GIVING UP is not an option. Those days especially, just a small encouragement, a smile, or a hug can make a whole lot of difference. Those days, even with the slightest moments, and the tiniest lapses of time, I feel hope!

pexels-photo-601798-e1545936393668.jpeg

My life has not been easy but really, who’s life has been. Going through depression and relapse has been quite a journey. But, hope is the one glue that keeps me together. Because no matter how hard things get there is always hope that things will get better. So I keep the hope that I will get through the tough times and I look back on where I was and how I have overcome a whole lot of things.

Alcohol Use Disorder is a dreadful disease that makes us believe that we are doomed forever and our lives are worthless, but the truth is that we are not. I know first hand that when I am sober, I am a pretty awesome human-being who can get through a whole lot of pain by relying on hope to conquer the difficulties.

Hope itself is a spiritual condition where we don’t know what the outcome may be, but we believe and trust that the outcome will be favorable just like Martin Luther King Jr. said: Take the first step in faith. You don‘t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

pexels-photo-67101.jpeg

Hope does not have to be religious or judgmental or prejudice. Hope can just be a state of mind, a belief, and an understanding. Hope keeps us going and striving for bigger, better tomorrow. Hope is that thing that we cannot see, touch or smell but we can wholeheartedly feel. Hope is always alive, even when we think there is none. The only time that it is dead is when we are 6 feet under.

At times when I feel hopeless, I like to read some quotes about hope and some those quotes become my mantras for that difficult day or sometimes for that difficult hour.

Here are some of my favorite quotes about Hope:

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope
Martin Luther King Jr

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness
Desmond Tutu

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother
Abraham Lincoln

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.
Nothing can be done without hope and confidence
Helen Keller

Everything that is done in this world is done by hope
Martin Luther King Jr

Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever
Roy T. Bennett

Hope itself is like a star – not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity
Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Walk on with hope in your heart, and you’ll never walk alone
Shah Rukh Khan

Hope keeps me sober when I desperately want to drink to kill the pain and get lost into the oblivion. Hope tells me that if I wait just a little bit, through the moment as it is, that pain will turn into strength which will ultimately propel me forward!


This is a 4 part personal story. Hope is part 4.
To read Part 1Divorce click HERE.
To read Part 2Depression click HERE.
To read Part 3Relapse click HERE.